An odd job I do from time to time is setting up corporations and businesses here in the Philippines. Of course, people pay me to renew the permits. So that’s how I spent my Sunday…taking a jeep to Manila City Hall to submit the processing. They stay open on Sunday because the Philippines needs to collect as much money as it can. Half-way there, this little guy jumped into the jeep, reached over while holding a pocket knife, and snatched the mobile phone of my cousin and the purse of an office worker girl. He then tried to jump out of the back of the jeep. “OH NO YOU DON’T!!!” I screamed (in Filipino of course) and managed to snag the back of his shirt which caused him to lose his balance. He yelped and spilled out onto the pavement. The driver of the jeep screeched to a halt, and I sprang from the back of the jeep and tackled the little turd as he tried to regain his balance. What a wimp. He was taller than me by 3 inches, yet I think I weighed more than him. I used my knees to pin his shoulders to the ground and in a rage, I proceeded to grab a handful of his hair and bang his head against the pavement. It’s probably a good thing that I could only slam him twice when a traffic enforcer and a tricycle driver grabbed me and pulled me off of him. As they lifted me off, I smashed my heel into his nose for good measure. What a mess…I was covered in bandit blood. It appeared that he had also cut himself with the knife when I tackled him and it had sprayed all over my white blouse.
The traffic enforcer told us to “get out of here”, and he radioed for back-up. After recovering the stolen items, we jumped back on the jeep, and I began wiping the blood off my jeans and shoes. My blouse was ruined. Gross…I couldn’t show up to City Hall looking like this! Unfortunately I had to get the paperwork done today.
A few minutes later, we arrived. My clothes were still a mess and everyone was looking at us. The blood was still very visible on my clothes, and it looked like I had been the victim of a knife attack. But the upside was that a top official was so curious to ask about the scene before her that she motioned for us to come to the front of the long line. I explained how I foiled a jeep robbery and my appearance was the result. The official beamed at me. She said, “Don’t worry my dear, I’ll take care of this for you so you can go home and clean up. You are so brave and strong!” And she did. Within 10 minutes, she sent us on our way with all requirements completed. It’s too bad I don’t get mugged everyday!J
January 18th, 2005
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